A joke circulated around Facebook for some time and went something like this: “A girl came home crying one day. Her brother, comforting her, tells her ‘It’ll be okay, lil’ sister. Tell me what’s wrong!’ The sister replies, ‘My boyfriend broke up with me because I broke his ‘Black Ops’ disc…’ The big brother proceeds to throw his little sister out of the household for such an atrocity.”
Ask a few of your lady friends who have gamer boyfriends/husbands, and they may not deny the likelihood of this story. Are video games tearing relationships apart? Where does gaming factor into the modern relationship?
Well we don’t need a psychologist with one of them fancy Ph.Ds to tell us that a partner who puts video games, or any hobby for that matter, before their significant other needs to reset their priorities.
Gaming can be a great thing for a relationship. Guys dream of that girl who can “pwn” them at their favorite game, and with girls hesitantly but increasingly getting into gaming, they’re definitely on the dating market.
But if only one member of the relationship is a gamer, there can be problems.
If gaming has honestly become some sort of burden on your relationship, analyze the situation. First, factor in if you are employed. If you aren’t, then it probably bothers your partner that you aren’t putting time in to find work. Gaming is fun, but it doesn’t make you money.
If unemployment isn’t a problem, then what he or she is likely upset about is that you spend more of your free time playing than you do with them.
Consider allowing your partner to play with you! They may not enjoy it, and if they’re new to it likely won’t be able to keep up, but they’ll see it as something to do together. Don’t be harsh on them if they aren’t as good. If playing with you doesn’t stick, maybe you should consider doing things they enjoy more. You don’t have to quit gaming altogether, but more time with them can’t hurt.
Now if you’re honestly trying and they aren’t satisfied with the relationship, perhaps they have a grudge against gamers. Maybe they see gaming as immature. Or maybe they are amongst the misguided and believe that gaming will turn you violent. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to be ashamed of gaming any more than someone should be ashamed of golfing or playing paintball or going to the movie theater.
If you’ve made genuine effort to spend time with them and they are still pushing for you to quit altogether, then they aren’t worth it. They don’t have to like that you’re a gamer, but any spouse or significant other shouldn’t mind it.
To the non-gamer: you probably won’t get them to quit. Eight out of 10 homes own a game console. You have nearly as good a chance as getting someone to stop watching TV. However, no relationship should require you to sit there at their house and quietly read “Twilight” to yourself while they play “Call of Duty.” If they value a video game over you and aren’t willing to make time for you, then they don’t deserve you.
