“Are toys appropriate in a relationship?”

THE STRAIGHT PERSPECTIVE

The era when sex toys like vibrators were sold almost exclusively to lonely women is long gone. Although sex toys exist for men, the market is predominantly geared toward women.

Since acceptance is commonplace in our culture for female sex toys like “Hello Touch” and “The Rabbit,” but remains somewhat taboo and hardly marketed to men, with the exception of the podcast commercialized “Fleshlight,” this response is going to address the use of female toys.

Let’s be honest, ladies. If a man finds a vibrator in your nightstand drawer, he is likely to respond positively to the discovery. After all, turning women on is a turn-on. The exception to this scenario is if your lover lacks the security of his libido.

Reversing the roles, if a woman were to find a man’s sex toy buried in his closet, it could understandably be cause for concern and raise a red flag.

Since there’s nothing for women to be ashamed of, what are we even talking about here? The goal is for couples to find a healthy balance.

First of all, pairing a partner’s expertise of reading and responding to a woman’s channels of sexuality while using “The Rabbit” is a reciprocal experience. Second, if a loved one is temporarily out of town, longing for them while draining a few AA batteries can strengthen the passion, intimacy and commitment of a relationship.

Keeping that in mind, it’s important to appreciate the basics. If an individual keeps ratcheting up the terms of pleasure, like using vibrators on the maximum setting exclusively and frequently, those individuals may become less susceptible to achieving orgasms with a partner during oral sex and intercourse. That prospect is undesirable for either partner.

For couples engaged or interested in using sex toys, the underlying point is to incorporate their use in a manner that strengthens bonding between lovers.

If dildos, vibrators and other toys are used as an alternative to connecting to or longing for a partner, then there might be a disconnect between superficial concepts of pleasure and cultivating key components of the human experience.