“What do you think about sexual relationships in the workplace?”

The Straight Perspective

Like dating among friends, relationships in the workplace separates men and women from the boys and girls. To ensure that the experience is comfortable, the process takes a certain degree of prior knowledge and maturity. Otherwise, the prospect can lead to an unstable work environment.

If, for example, an inexperienced and coupled pair of teenagers working together at a fast food restaurant experience turbulence or suffer an absolute collapse of their relationship, the resulting drama can lead to avoidance, a shakeup of social groups and measurably diminished productivity at the workplace. Fast food isn’t going to microwave itself.

If one of the two teenagers in question lacks the social development to make or experience smooth transitions in their life, the resulting jealousy, possessiveness and distrust can lead to an unhealthy environment for everyone involved.

Conversely, if an experienced, educated and all-around mature workplace couple enjoys their time together, but for one reason or another are approaching the sunset of their relationship — perhaps looking to pursue the next chapter of their lives — the transition can be mutually tolerant and relatively stable. Healthy transitions ensure that hamburger assembly quotas are met.

To hell with the social dynamics of a workplace setting. Strong relationships begin when individuals pair with stable, like-minded people from any walk of life.

Even if you lack the wherewithal to maturely bond with a funky-fresh and intriguing french fry operator, as long as you have the decency to honor your responsibilities to both McDonald’s and your fellow employees, your fractured tendencies can be kept at bay on behalf of the group.

That right there is life in a nutshell. Whether you come to the table as damaged goods or you’re wise beyond your years, respect the group.

Get out there while the gettin’s good. Grow up, seize the cashier into your soft, warm embrace and assemble those hamburger patties like there’s no tomorrow.