According to the National Center for Education Statistics, more than 7,000,000 students between the ages of 12 and 18 are bullied every year.

Thanks to recent revelations about the locker room saga involving Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito of the Miami Dolphins, many are now realizing that bullying does not stop with high school graduation. Bullying is a life-long phenomenon and can happen among any age, professional or socioeconomic group.

Richie Incognito has been suspended indefinitely from the team for allegedly harassing his teammate, Jonathan Martin. Multiple text messages and voicemails which have been made public by the Martin camp include threats of violence, vulgar and racial slurs as well as statements of sexual aggression towards Martin’s sister. Reactions from Dolphins teammates and the rest of the NFL and all across the country have been swift and rampant.

True to form, the responses to this situation are typical and leave a disturbing taste in the mouths of many. What this incident shows once again is  our tendency to blame the victim — exactly why many children who are bullied every year remain silent.  They fear being ridiculed.

The Martin-Incognito story has been picked up by many different national news networks including CNN, CBS, USA Today and the LA Times. Millions of children, many of whom may be struggling with their own bullies or how to tell someone about them, have seen not only the story, but the public’s responses to the story.

This gives us all a great opportunity to take a stand and show support for those who are victimized and encourage them to tell their stories to someone they trust. But we are missing the point.  Instead of standing with the victim, we are ridiculing a man who showed courage and brought his story to the nation’s attention in order to stop the abuse that had been occurring. When Martin took a stand, it was for much more than himself.  It was a stand for the  7,000,000 children who are bullied.

Ever since this story broke, a wave of people have tried to explain away Incognito’s actions, claiming that the accused was “just trying to toughen him [Martin] up” or was “trying to make a man out of him.”

This is not the way that members of a civil society behave or the logic they use.

What this situation should actually show us is that anyone can become a victim; there is no age or size limit. According to Stopbullying.gov a person cannot outgrow the problems that can be brought on by bullies. These problems include depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.

Whether you call it bullying or hazing, bullying is not just an issue involving children in primary schools to deal with.  It is all our problems, whether it be the classroom or the workplace. We must collectively figure out how to treat each other with decency.

We have been desensitized to other people’s feelings; we lack empathy. We must learn how to put yourself in the shoes of those who are being bullied. whether they are a 6-foot-5-inch, 320-pound NFL player, or a 5-foot-3-inch, 130 pound  high school freshman.  Bullying is Bullying.

Too many of these situations go unreported and slip through the cracks. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 64 percent of students who are victims of bullying do not report it. Martin should be celebrated and held up as an example of exactly what victims should do if they feel harassed. We may all agree that bullying is bad, but if we stand by and do nothing as it happens or, worse yet, ridicule those who do come forward with information, then we are hypocrites.

On the Fresno City College campus, we should have the resources so that no one would have to feel isolated, alone, harassed or abused. The FCC administrators have, in their own policy, taken a stance against bullying and bullying-like actions. The FCC ethics statement says, “We ensure an honest and supportive climate which serves the interests of the institution and protects the well-being of all individuals.”

This should be the goal of every institution on the planet and no individual should ever have to feel the isolation or torment that comes with being bullied for any stretch of time.

Studies by Stopbullying.gov show that many kids don’t tell about their struggles with a bully because they may not want adults to know what is being said about them, whether true or false. They may also fear that adults will judge them or punish them for being weak.

And who can possibly blame them? If they can see a big NFL player being called a “wuss” when he speaks out against his tormentor, why should they believe the response will be any different for them?

Children have impressionable minds. They pick up on things that are going on around them and those things do have an effect. And if the effect from the nation’s response to Jonathan Martin is that even one tortured kid has to look up and feel that no one is on their side, or that they will be ridiculed for speaking out against their tormentor, then we all should be ashamed, because that means that we have all failed them.