Black women deal with many perceptions — ranging from our hair texture, being thick, how light our skin is to our attitudes.

Many of us struggle with our beauty and let media define what is beautiful and what isn’t. Beginning with the whole Light-skin VS. Dark-skin, although the debate has died down a bit, we are the only race who divides ourselves into this idiotic category. I ask myself all the time what is wrong with us?

Then I think back to our history and how light skinned blacks were allowed in the house while darker skinned worked outside. That was a long time ago. We have to let that slave mentality go. We should be the only ones defining what beauty means and must be aware of how media tries to brainwash us on beauty. They want us to hate ourselves. We shouldn’t let them.

This causes many issues within the black race. We have become brainwashed to believe that being lighter is better, and it does not help that people of our own race, especially celebrities, put down our darker skinned women by saying “Light skin is the right skin.” Some rappers glorify women who are as light as a paper bag or lighter .It’s more likely that a black man would choose a lighter skinned woman because to him, she is less ethnic. Of course as a black woman, this makes us angry and adds to other trials we have to deal with.

Those who are a darker shade of brown must deal with,”The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice” pickup line. Can we please let go of that 300-year-old saying from the movie “Friday” or my favorite, “Oh, for a dark skinned girl, you’re really pretty.”

What is that supposed to mean? For the last time, that is not a compliment. It’s actually offensive, and if you say that to me, you will get told where to go and how to get there. It is an insult to suggest that darker skin is anything but pretty. We come in many different shades of beautiful brown.

We do not realize that we have allowed the media to not only tell us that having light skin is better, but that straight long silky hair is better, and that being pencil thin is sexy. We swallow all that and do not speak up on how the ideal woman should be.

We also deal with the criticism of our hair texture and the myth that black women’s hair doesn’t grow. I’m here to let some ignorant people know that our hair can and does grow, and it’s gorgeous.

We don’t need to spend $200 plus on weaves to fit in with what society sees as the norm. There are so many products at Sally’s and many other beauty supply stores with products that promise black woman the “ideal” silky hair or perms to straighten the black woman hair.

As a black woman, it is your choice whether you want relaxed hair or natural hair, but don’t straighten your hair based on what media depicts as beautiful. Yes our texture is different but gorgeous, whether it is coarse,kinky,curly or happy nappy.

There is always a perception that black women are always mugging, rolling their necks, making finger gestures, loud mouthed, and back talking. In movies and television shows, we are depicted as “ghetto”. In many movie plots, the black woman is always struggling, has numerous kids without fathers, is on drugs, is illiterate and a loud mouth.

According to an article in the Washington Post, black women’s graduation from high school has tripled since the 1960s and the dropout rate has declined, but they are still over-represented in in the penal system. While black women’s incarceration has decreased by 30 percent since 2000, we are still 2.8 times more likely to be incarcerated than our other counterparts.

That is why we seem to have an attitude. That is why we are loud and expressive. Wouldn’t you be if you have to deal with as much as this society throws at us?

We have come a long way and are proud of what we have accomplished.