My sisters and I are finding that dating in the black community has been extremely disappointing. I love a dark chocolate, hazelnut, caramel man, but I can’t seem to find one who meets my requirements or wants to date black women.

Where have all the eligible black men gone?

Are there any black men who actually want to date black women?

Where are the men who embrace the black culture?

Where are the men who love my afro, who love my beautiful brown skin?

When I go out to clubs, bars, or get togethers — black men up turn their noses at me. They look at me and other black girls as if we are some weird species.

I have had numerous black men tell me that the reason they don’t date black women is because the women have an afro, are too eccentric, too dark, or too ghetto.

So I’m “too black” for you?

It breaks my heart every time. How could so many young black men be so self-loathing? It shows a lack of understanding of the history of black people in America. I would not want to start a relationship with a man who has no knowledge of where he came from.

Every time a black man has an option to choose between someone his color and someone different, he rejects the black sister time after time.

I always hear, “Why do black women get so mad when they see a black man with someone who isn’t black?”

To tell you the truth, I don’t even get mad anymore. I see those black men as lost boys; they don’t know where they come from and don’t know our history, and have no appreciation of our culture.

When I approach a black man, it is not because I automatically want them as a partner. I’m just acknowledging you. I see you my brother, and I just want to acknowledge you.

If only they took the time to know our history, they would love themselves, which would make them more appreciative of black women and see no need to disrespect them. A black woman may not be your first choice for a partner. That’s ok; it’s a free country. But you should respect her and honor her. You should still appreciate your people, your black women, and most importantly, love yourself.