Labels Are Ruining (Potential) Relationships

With a plethora of websites, dating apps and social media platforms at our disposal, meeting new people for a possible romantic connection is easier than ever.

However, the struggle of dating in our modern society is because of the blurred lines between “talking,” “dating,” and “in a relationship.”

Since there are so many options available to us, dating has become somewhat of a game: we choose a main character to focus on, but have a variety of others waiting in the wings, keeping them hooked just in case the main one falls through. This fear of missing out, that there might be someone better and that we should keep our options open, makes it difficult for many single young adults to want to commit to one person.

And since no one wants to commit, we resort to awkward titles, because maybe the person you’ve been seeing just doesn’t want to put a label on the relationship— “we’re just talking” for one person can mean “we’re dating” to another, and “we’re dating” could mean “we’re in a relationship” and so forth.

So, what really is the difference between just talking, dating, and in a relationship?

Many people view “talking” as the pre-dating stage. During this stage, the relationship between two people typically isn’t too serious. Clearly both parties are interested in each other, but still weighing their options as to how they want the relationship to go and can be talking to other people simultaneously. In some cases, “talking” can just mean hooking up with no other expectations.

“Dating” is now a looser term for relationships— it can include both exclusive and nonexclusive relationships. Similar to the “talking” phase, people often date more than one person at once. Dating is fairly casual, but the label does suggest some level of commitment.

When in the dating stage, things can get a little more serious: Maybe they’re in the background of your #foodporn post or the subject of a second-long photo on your Snapchat story. Their presence is known among your friend group, and they aren’t as easily disposable as someone you’re just “talking” to.

Being “in a relationship” means a secure, committed relationship— the two of you are a confirmed couple. This is when labels like boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other come into play. This is the stage where couples can change their relationship status on Facebook and post pictures with them on Instagram with captions from that Khalid song you both like.

These labels can be confusing, and everyone can interpret them differently. When in doubt, the best thing to do is to is just ask the person exactly what they mean.