Today’s version of chivalry leans strongly toward sexism and confusion since so much has changed in the last 50 years. Women are working more than ever and take pride in being self-sufficient. An outdated concept and code of conduct should not be the basis of treatment.
Part of the problem, in my opinion, is that chivalry envisions women being frail and helpless. The gentlemanly gestures are viewed with shock by women that have spent their life being strong and doing things on their own.
Think about a woman that was raised to work hard and encouraged to be independent. That same woman might not be accustomed to chivalrous actions. In today’s society, women are raised to not be helpless and that has translated into women seeking equal treatment.
By not wanting to be treated differently, women are changing the outlook on chivalry. Chivalry held women hostage and they fought hard to break those chains. It was an unwritten code of conduct and way of life that should never be forced on anyone.
Every woman, that I have met at least, wants to be treated with dignity and respect. That being said, women are capable of handling things for themselves. Opening a door for a woman is a nice gesture but in some cases may be viewed as an insult.
In some cases, a woman may think these gestures are sweet and meant in earnest respect while others are much more independent in the way they live their lives. They prefer to do things on their own and the gestures that may be seen as chivalrous become annoying or insulting.
This may stem from that fact that women have fought long and hard for equal rights when it comes to pay and treatment. It was not until 2009, when President Obama signed the Lily Ledbetter Act, that any substantial progress was made in closing the wage gap between men and women.
With that fight continuing, women are very keen on proving their independence.
Women are determined to be able to do what they want and not apologize for it. And they shouldn’t have to.
With the progress that has been made, women have a right to be equal to their male counterparts in not having to qualify, explain or apologize for their independence.
If the roles were completely reversed and men woke up to see that women were taking care of everything, that women were making the decisions and that women were treating men as if they were too weak or fragile to take care of themselves, what would happen?
There would be chaos.
Men have always been seen as the stronger sex, capable of taking care of and providing for their families. Women have been seen as homemakers and child bearers.
That’s another part of the issue. The idea of chivalry is seen in a much different light than it was 50 years ago. When ideas and perceptions change, it is much more difficult to keep the standards involved the same.
That being said, we cannot expect a society that is pro-equal treatment to adhere to social standards set in the 1300s.
In becoming outdated chivalry has become sexist. Its very nature assumes that women are incapable of caring for themselves and in today’s society, that is simply not true.
Chivalry is also often confused with simple courtesy. When a man is being respectful that does not mean he is being chivalrous. Courtesy is being respectful whereas chivalry involves guardianship and responsibility for someone’s well-being.
Chivalry can be defined as a quality in a knight that involves a readiness to help the weak.In that definition lies a sexist remark by today’s standards. Women are not weak and we are certainly past the days of knights, favors and damsels in distress.
Today we have women that are ready to be knights in shining armor by the standards of chivalry. Women hold high and noble positions these days.
In my own experience, I do not appreciate a man doing everything for me or paying for everything.
In my mind, it is the same as saying, “Don’t worry your pretty head, little lady. I’ll take care of this.”
I may not have much, but I do have my ability to work hard and earn my way through life.
Read the Con side of the debate here.
