Every year, thousands of abuse cases are reported. Statistics show that an average of 102 children are abused almost every hour.
This adds up to 3.3 million children that are abused annually. Many people do not even know how close to home these types of abuse can be because most people are not outspoken about the abuse they may be experiencing.
One woman in particular, Dakota Draconi, is out to change the cycle. Draconi was a victim of abuse as a child that eventually led to abuse in her own marriage. Today, she is giving presentations (through her organization Breaking the Silence) on stopping violence on children and those in relationships.
Dakota Draconi’s childhood in the public eye was very typical. Her family went to church every Sunday. Her mother was also a Sunday school teacher and leader of the local PTA.
At school, she also served as the lunchroom lady. However, Dakota knew that she took some of these roles to keep tabs on her and her siblings. For example, the reason why her mother took up the job in the lunchroom was so she could keep watch of how much food she ate.
Her mother’s control did not stop or begin there. As a toddler, she was forced to throw up her food and eventually learned how to do so on command.
She was also born into a prostitution ring, where at a very early age her parents taught her how to pleasure. In kindergarten, her mother was paid by strangers to come into their home and have sex with Dakota. She claims that this type of abuse is worse that neglect.
When she looked for help, no one was there on her side. At the age of eight, she was asked by a church member if she was being abused.
She confessed some of the abuse that was taking place at home and the church member called a social worker. Dakota was then interviewed for an hour and a half and confessed to the all the abuse that was taking place at home. However, she had no emotion when she spoke. This was in part because Dakota was under the assumption that the lifestyle that she lived at home was a normal one.
Due to her lack of emotion when explaining graphic details, the social worker did not believe a word she said. She was called an attention seeker and her parents were notified by the social worker of what she had exposed.
Later that night, she was nearly beaten half to death by her parents. They chipped off a piece of her tailbone which led to complications she is still dealing with even today.
At the age of fourteen, Dakota ran away from home and lived in Napa as a prostitute. She suffered from anorexic bulimia and had a drug/alcohol problem. Dakota was still under the impression that the way she was treated was part of a normal lifestyle. She stayed on the streets until she was eighteen.
She was then bought by a man who eventually married her. The man who she was about to marry had previously abused her as a child. She had children with this man and they witnessed the abuse that was going on.
She believed that the abuse was alright as long as he did not touch their children. She later realized that he was setting a horrible example on how women should be treated. The marriage lasted for nine years and she had many suicidal thoughts. She would have rather been dead at that point.
With the help from a therapist, she realized that she had to leave the marriage and get away from the situation. Her therapist informed her that a mother who is not around is much better than a dead mother.
Under the guidance of the Marjaree Mason Center and her therapist, she hopped on a bus to Tucson. It was here where she spent seven months on the streets followed by another nine months homeless in Fresno. She had lost everything including her own family. She then began the battle of getting her life back in order and gaining custody of her children.
She realized that her children were now being abused by their father. She called the police and CPS and had the father arrested. Once he was in criminal court, he received three years of informal probation.
The judge acknowledged the abuse but claimed that at least he had not abandoned them. Dakota, her therapist, and the child therapist in the case fought against the verdict. Through her dedication and perseverance, she was able to get her children back.
Today, she is living with her three children and educating many on breaking the cycle of child abuse. The organization she has founded, Breaking the Silence, is a non-profit organization dedicated to raising public awareness of child abuse.
At first, she was speaking to classes about her life with Multiple Personality Disorder. She eventually branched out to her life and how she dealt with the physical abuse. It ultimately formed into the organization that it is today. She has also participated in local politics in order to fix loopholes that keep the cycle going.
Dakota’s life may not be something that everyone likes to hear, but the fact is that it is a reality. She is a woman that overcame the obstacles when most people would give up.
Through her story, you begin to realize the many factors that come into play when dealing with abuse. Her main objective is to make others aware of the ongoing child abuse in this country, but she is an example of how anyone can overcome anything.
