While sitting in a bastion of hate for the latest pop musical “sensation”, The Jonas Brothers, I began to wonder why my hate for them seemed so much more potent than my hate for other pop “musicians”. It was then that one of my colleagues popped in with her most brilliant observation to date: “They’re Hanson, but brunettes.” This bit of genius brought me what alcoholics call a “moment of clarity”. After a quick look on the internet I realized that we were definitely not the first to realize this but felt that our moment of clarity was just as valid as anyone else’s because we tend to not listen to terrible music and therefore would not have been as familiar with either bands as most of America seems to be.

But I digress. Everyone realizes that fashion repeats itself (do memories of the intellectually offensive Great 1980s Nostalgia of 2004 ring a bell?) but how often do we realize when pop music repeats itself, even when it has dyed its hair?

The most popular pop musicians (it makes me cringe just to call them that) of the day seem to be tired retreads of tried and true formulas.

Is Shirley Temple really all that different than Jamie Lynn Spears? When one thinks about it, is the cultural impact on average young listeners that different? Both were blonde, precocious, lovable, singer-dancers that appealed to all tweens, regardless of physical appearance. Jamie Lynn isn’t just a tired retread of the young middle-American girl with a song in her heart and a smile on her face, she is basically Brittany Spears light.

The Hanson Brothers and The Jonas Brothers share many qualities that would appeal to middle-America. They are both a family band of “singer-songwriters” (although how much creativity and influence they actually have on the finished product is greatly distorted by producers and promoters alike).. Both had spectacular pop hits made of catchy tunes and unintelligible lyrics (Mmmbob vs Baby Bottle Pop). They both have that clean image, with just a hint of Tom Sawyer tomfoolery (excuse the awful alliteration)

I’d like to take this time to make the connection between Bobby Brown and Whitney Huston and Rhianna and Chris Brown but the latter two aren’t talented enough to even garner a larger word count for this story.

Perhaps if the consumers would wander beyond their standard pop music stations and into smaller yet more artistic and groundbreaking stations, we wouldn’t ever have to see a blond, brunette, or ginger Hanson on the cover of Rolling Stone ever again.