It’s a universal dynamic.
No matter their color, culture, or financial standard; balancing work and family is a challenge for many women today.
Three women at Fresno City College understand this concept as well as anybody. Though these women come from different backgrounds and are at different stages in their life, they have found a common ground as working mothers.
The first, Jothany Blackwood, is a divorced African-American woman with two children. Blackwood is faced with the challenge of balancing life as a mother, an inspirational speaker and a third generation college dean.
The second, Claudia Habib, is a Latina woman raising two children with her husband. In addition to her role as an instructor in the Architecture and Drafting Department, Habib is the Academic Senate President.
The oldest of the three, Diane Clerou, is a Caucasian woman who has already raised two children. For the past 26 years, Clerou has been a human resources manager in the public and private sectors.
Together, the three women have a created a support system. Through this support system, they learn to deal with the juggling act known as motherhood. And on Sept. 18, they hope to inspire other women as they speak at the 25th Central California Women’s Conference.
“Jothany and Claudia have become people who I work with who are friends. We did other presentations together. We’ve made it fun,” said Clerou. “We admit right now our lives are not in balance. I’m working too much. Jothany is raising kids and Claudia is raising kids. I’m not raising kids but my life is still not balanced.”
But the critical question the women ask is: Are we happy?
“Whatever life is handing you now, have fun, do the best you can, make friends, feel like you are contributing to the betterment of society. And know it’s only temporary. Good or bad, it will change tomorrow,” said Clerou.
Ultimately the women make it a priority to celebrate each other. Even on the job, they experience failure and success, but support is always there. Blackwood is especially thankful for the support.
“For someone like me who didn’t have family in this town, I had to create a support system. That came from friends and church,” said Blackwood.
It’s also this support system that carried Blackwood as she went for her doctorate and at the same time worked at FCC.
“Claudia and I went to our doctoral programs at Fresno State while we were working here.
We both have children at home so we talk about adding an extra layer of responsibility. We talked about how important it is to have a support system,” said Blackwood.
During her doctorate years, Blackwood had to make sure her kids didn’t suffer because of her busy schedule. Her typical day consisted of getting off work, running home to spend time with her children, going to bed with them, waking up at 2 a.m. to study and waking up early to take the children to school.
In the midst of all this, Blackwood had to find time for herself.
“There were times where I got a babysitter. I didn’t have anywhere to go but I just needed time for myself,” said Blackwood. “You come back refreshed. You have more energy to focus on your children. You have time to invest in a pedicure, manicure, to visit adult friends, read a book, or go to a conference.”
For Clerou, the challenge was a little different.
After working for 12 hours, she would come home at 7 p.m. and dinner wasn’t ready, homework wasn’t done.
“The children would say what’s for dinner and I would say is your homework done? They would say no and my husband would be watching TV because he is exhausted. After 12 hours, I would have to come home and make dinner and do homework,” said Clerou.
Looking back, Clerou feels that she left her children with a sense of being second rate. She says she gave her children a snippet of her time instead of giving them full attention.
“I think it was hard on my children and I regret that. If I could relive that, probably with my personality I wouldn’t do it any different, but I’d recommend for other people to have more of a balance in their work and family life while their children are growing. I think everyone would be happier and healthier,” said Clerou.
There was also one more challenge for Clerou.
“I have one special needs son, my oldest son. I remember how hard it was to raise him and to work a lot,” she says.
At last, it was a psychologist that gave Clerou the answer she needed. He said to her, “The homework, the meals, the grocery shopping, the clothing, the sports, is all temporary.” Though it took a while for Clerou to understand what he was saying, now she says, “OK, this is only temporary. This is only one chapter in my life. This is a just busy chapter.”
As for Habib, she has found that the best method for her is to involve her family in every project. When she decided to go for her master’s degree, she consulted not only her husband but also her children, who at the time were six and 10w. When she knew she had their support, she pursued her degree online and enjoyed the flexibility it allowed. Four years later she went for her doctorate and again she turned to her family.
“I needed everyone’s support. My kids have always understood that this is a project for all of us and we support each other. The benefits are for the entire family,” said Habib.
Though she was surprised when chosen to speak at this year’s Women’s Conference, Habib is eagerly anticipating the day.
“We go on in our daily lives and we forget about this being a big deal. But when you think about women, the challenges we go through, the progress we have made, it’s important to tell the story. It’s good to encourage other women or to avoid the mistakes we made,” said Habib.
The women also agree that the purpose of the conference is to show women that it’s all temporary. Blackwood wants women to remember that unsuccessful times will not last. She also stresses the importance of maximizing the good moments. “This time with my children is small,” said Blackwood. “I have to be there. They won’t get smaller. Soon they want to hang-out with their friends. They won’t want me there.”
