For many years I struggled with standing up for myself. I would let people bully me, to the point where I would cry myself to sleep.

I let them dictate my life — how I spoke, walked and smiled; what clothes I wore, my style of makeup and how I did my hair. I was told to be exactly what they wanted. They sculpted every piece of who I was; nothing was truly me, and I was lost.

The idea of telling them, “no” was terrifying. If I objected, I would lose my best friends, thus losing who I was. The bullies I feared most were the bullies that I called friends.

If it was not the teasing and name calling, it was the judgement of who I am. When I was with my friends, I acted completely different. It was not noticeable to others around me. To everyone else, I was the same person I had always been.

But as I grew older, it got harder to keep up this image that I had built around me. I felt like I was trapped in a glass bubble. Who I was in reality kept trying to burst out.

Then I learned to love myself, and from that moment on, I made friends with people who liked me for the person I am. But I still made friends with people who tried to make me different, people who found it ok to make fun of my quirkiness. I strongly thought that I was going to be able to be friends with some of these people, including a girl, I thought was my best friend.

All I ever heard from her was a constant put down. It was an emotional roller coaster with her. The highs were when she would be nice and encouraging. The lows were when she was manipulative and cruel.

At the time, I did not realize what was happening. I did not realize that this person who I thought was my best friend was also the source of my unhappiness. The saddest moment was the minute I decided to stand up for myself. I spoke up, expressed myself, and finally told her no.

I was not going to be the person that she hurt for her own pleasure. So she disappeared out of my life. I was left wondering what I did to make her stop wanting to be friends with me.

The answer is simple. I stopped being her puppet and started being the person I really am. She helped me realize what makes a bad friend. I learned that the only people that are worthy of the title “best friend” are the people that do not bully you to feel better about themselves. A good friend is a person who holds your hand while you stand up against those that wish to change you.

Standing up for myself was one of the most liberating experiences. I felt stronger because I had just done something that I never had the courage to do; happier because I did not have this constant need to please those around me; and free because I realized if I was able to stand up against those who were closest to me, I felt empowered to stand up not only for myself but also for those who are too afraid to speak up.

I felt like the lion from the “Wizard of Oz;” finding my courage within myself, seeing that I have had it in me all this time.

When you stand up for yourself, you can see the person you are meant to be — a person who is strong and opinionated. You gain the knowledge that your voice can make a difference, both for yourself and others.

Because no matter what people tell you, you should be your own person. You have one of the greatest gifts of all — your brain and voice.